A Legitimate Reason
by Alicia Spades
Summary: Luffy is tired of getting chased around. So he hands himself in. Kind of. Takes place before Skypiea.
1. Chapter 1

"ARGH! That's it!" Luffy yelled. "Oi, smoke guy!" He jabbed a finger towards Smoker. "Why do you keep chasing us all the time?"

"I'm a Marine. It's my job to arrest pirates," Smoker said stoically.

Luffy took a deep breath. Then he sat down on the deck of the Going Merry with his legs crossed and put his hands on his knees. "You know what? I'm really tired of getting chased around for no reason."

Smoker's eye twitched. "Like I said—"

"So tell you what," Luffy continued. "I'll let you arrest me."

"—it's my job…what?" Smoker stared at him, stunned.

"Oi, Luffy! What the heck are you doing?" Usopp asked, waving his arms up and down in panic. "Y-You can't be serious! You can't hand yourself in!"

"Oi, Luffy," Sanji said.

"BUT! Only on one condition!" Luffy crossed his arms.

"And what would that be?" Smoker asked his usual scowl back in place.

Luffy grinned. "Tell me what crime I'm being arrested for."

Smoker seemed momentarily taken back. "What?"

"I won't hand myself in unless you give me a reason," Luffy said, sticking his tongue out. "BLEUH."

Usopp sighed in relief. "So that's what it was." Sanji smirked, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette. Nami shook her head, but she was smiling too.

"So what's it going to be?" Zoro asked, a wicked grin on his face. "Because if you don't have a legitimate reason, we're just going to assume that the Marines arrest pirates for putting up flags on their ships."

"It's the skull and crossbones, I tell you," said Sanji, taking another drag on his cigarette. "The skull and crossbones are evil. _Evil_."

A vein appeared on Smoker's temple. "You."

"Y-Yes, sir?"

"Go fetch Straw Hat's file. Now."

"E-Eh? But sir…"

"I said now!"

"Y-Y-Yes sir!"

"…sir…"

"So, did you find it?"

"Yes…"

"So?"

"Well, that is, how to say…"

"Spit it out!"

"…the file is empty."

"…what?"

"…the file…it's empty…"

"WHAT?"

"They're pure evil, I tell you! Pure evil!"

"Shut it, dartbrow."


	2. Chapter 2

"Ah! Not you again!" Luffy yelled at Smoker. "Why is it always you?"

"You've managed to run away every single time," Smoker said, "but now your luck has run out. You're completely cornered."

Hina stepped forward. "Straw Hat Luffy and Pirate Hunter Zoro, we are putting you under arrest. Surrender quietly, and no harm will come to you or your comrades."

Luffy cocked his head sideways. "What about Merry?"

"…or your ship," Hina acknowledged.

"Hmmm…" Luffy crossed his arms, deep in thought.

"If you resist, we will have no choice but to use force. We understand your strength very well. However, you are at a disadvantage on your ship. If you defy us, Hina cannot guarantee your lives."

"Mmm…this is a problem…" Luffy said, scratching his head. "I don't feel like handing myself in, but I don't feel like dying either….hmmm…"

Hina's eye twitched. She turned to Smoker. "He's making fun of Hina. Hina pissed."

"No." Smoker sighed. "He's always like that."

It was pretty sad how even his enemies knew that now.

Hina scowled, and turned back to face Luffy. "Surrender now! As long as you and Pirate Hunter Zoro hand yourselves in, we will not harm your other comrades. However, we will seize your ship and any treasure you possess."

Luffy stared at her for a few seconds. Then he blinked. "Are you stupid?"

A vein burst on Hina's forehead. "Why you! How dare you insult Hina! Hina will—"

"Why would I give myself up if you take our ship?" Luffy asked, glaring at her. "Merry is our nakama too! Saying you won't touch my nakama, but taking Merry…that makes no sense!"

Smoker slid his palm down his face. "That guy considers his ship as one of his comrades too," he told Hina.

"His…ship?" Hina repeated. "Hina perplexed…"

"Eh? Wait a moment," Luffy said suddenly. "You said treasure, right? We don't have any treasure."

"What?"

"Nope. No money at all. We're flat-out poor."

"You expect Hina to believe that pirates strong enough to defeat Sir Crocodile have no treasure?" she demanded.

"Yes," Luffy replied.

There was a moment of silence. Hina gripped the rails of her ship so tightly that her knuckles were white. She shook with barely restrained rage. In fact, you could see several veins bulging on her forehead. Charming sight.

"Hina…cannot deal with this man any longer…." Hina said through clenched teeth.

Smoker faced the Straw Hat crew. "No money at all, you say? Quite strange for pirates of your caliber. Been a while since you've last went treasure hunting or village raiding?"

Luffy blinked. "We've never raided a village." He turned to his friends. "Have we?"

"Nope," Sanji said, exhaling his cigarette smoke. "I don't think we've gone treasure hunting, either. Well, I can't be sure, seeing has I joined quite a while after the crew was first formed. Oi, Marimo, you know anything?"

"No," Zoro said, irritated by the way the chef referred to him. "We've never gone treasure hunting, nor have we ever raided a village. Now stop calling me that, dartbrow, or I'll start calling _you_ dandelion."

"Any money we had was spent on supplies while we were crossing the desert," Nami said.

"And what's wrong with dandelions, huh?"

"Did you seriously…oh, never mind."

Smoker scowled at them. "Never raided a village?"

"Nope," Luffy answered cheerfully.

"Mmm, let's see…" Sanji said. "We've saved a restaurant, freed a village from some freaky fish guy, saved a whale, rescued a princess and her duck, befriended some giants, liberated a kingdom from an abusing monarch, stopped a rebellion, and saved a country, but no, I don't think we've ever raided a village."

"We always said that four times, idiot."

"Shut up, Marimo."

"Same to you, Dandelion."

"…"

Smoker clutched his head. For some reason, he felt like he was going to have a headache for the rest of the day.


End file.
